Mental Strength

I watched many dramas, watched many animes, read many mangas, and realised that most of the main characters are mentally very strong. They are very determined to achieve what they want to achieve. Watching them will always make me very motivated and make me want to become like one of them.

However, I just discovered one very sad fact: I'm mentally very weak.

I can't even find the determination to do my school work properly. Until now I've missed so many lessons already. And yet I'm still not working hard.

I hate stress. I will try to avoid stress as much as possible. No matter what I do, I will always find the easiest way out, because that will result in least stress for myself.

I will leave many things to do at last minute, and sometimes even think that some stuff will settle by themselves. I believe in 'time' too much.

I always thought I'm happy-go-lucky, but now that I think about it, I'm just being extremely lazy and lackadaisical.

Many times I use 'I don't know' as an excuse, but actually it's a matter of whether 'I want to'.

Sometimes I would think what a coward I am.

Had a great dinner with Yuri, her parents and some other friends today.

Yuri's mother kept complimenting me, saying how good I am and that many girls will like me.

But no. I really don't think so.

Because even I myself hate this character of mine, why would others like me?

School has already entered the 4th week, yet I'm still in holiday mood.

Only if there's a pill that can switch me into Study Mode. A pill that can make me more determined.

A pill that can make me more mentally strong.

Too bad it doesn't exist.