I know I shouldn't be blogging now. I know I should be in my bed snoring already. But I still want to blog, so as to make today more meaningful...
Ok, so today was my off, and I slept all the way until 1 pm. This is considered okay, given the fact that I can sleep until 3 am sometimes...(><) Anyway, after I woke up, I surfed the net for a while before proceeding to cook my lunch (I was the only one at home). After eating my lunch while watching the latest Bleach episode, I went on to do more serious things...
Well, actually I didn't do any serious stuff the whole day... I spent almost the whole afternoon watching shows and listening to songs - new songs that just came out and I haven't listened to yet. Yah, some people might find it surprising, but this can be a favourite pastime of mine. I can spend hours listening to songs and organising my music files (more than half of my music files are unorganised). Amazing, isn't it?
I know I shouldn't be doing this... I should be spending my time playing on KGS or reviewing kifu or doing tsumego... But sometimes it's hard to control yourself and resist temptations. In the end I didn't manage to do a single useful thing! You can say that I have wasted 1 whole day...
My mum went back to China yesterday for my grandfather's funeral. She looked okay. Hope she will be alright and don't break down emotionally.
After managing to convince myself to review a few games on my Go board, I realised that our dear Lin Xi has started a blog. And he is using a template taken from blogskin. I found it quite cool, and went on to search for a template that's suitable for my blog. So I clicked and clicked, and tried out several skins, but sadly none of them suited my taste... I didn't like the idea of not being able to see the title of your posts, and I also wanted my posts to be able to post comments. Some skins were not compatible with firefox, and the whole proportion looked weird. In some skins the words were also too small, and I pity the people reading blogs with those kind of skins... Furthermore, I'm very bad at this kind of html codes, and probably it will be very hard for me to learn, and if I don't learn html I won't be able to edit my layout the way I want. So, I switched back to my old one - the default template. For the time being, I don't think I will be bothering to change my blog layout, unless I find a really suitable one...
Unfortunately somehow all the blog links were gone after I reverted back to my original template... I did save it, in the exact format, but the links were not there... Haiz, I had to add all the links again one by one :-(. If anyone doesn't see your blog linked here please tell me...
That's all for my "meaningful" day at home. Let's hope this kind of day doesn't repeat itself...
Oh yeah, have been thinking about what to do with my blog. I think I will fix it in such a way that I will post in Chinese and English alternately everyday. In this way I can blog in both language without worrying about which language to post everytime. For those who don't understand Chinese, here's a site you can go: http://babelfish.yahoo.com/. It's not really accurate, but will definitely help somehow. Maybe I will start this from next post onwards...
Going back to camp tomorrow... Haiz, there's a major exercise coming up soon, and it will be very tiring... Hopefully it will be over in a blink...
Ok, good night, everyone~
P.S. The time indicated in this blog post is not the actual time I wrote this. I changed it so that it will look as though this post is made today (Thursday). And by the way, I DON'T snore. =P
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tragedy after Tragedy
This weekend was one of the more enjoyable ones, until I received news today that my grandfather in China has just passed away... I don't really feel good to say this but, I've only spent time with him when I was very young, so I'm not really close to him. But no matter what he's still my grandfather, and we are still related by blood. Most importantly, my mother is very upset because of this. I can see from her eyes that she has been crying... The last person I want to see being sad is my mother. I don't want her to get hurt. But at this moment, there is nothing I can do... Still as helpless as ever...
She will be going back in a few days. Hopefully she will let it go and won't get too emotional, even though it's very difficult. Why do people die? There's nothing good that comes out from deaths... Only unhappiness...
My dear grandfather, I sincerely hope that you can rest in peace. And my dear mother, please take care of yourself, and I will always be by your side.
She will be going back in a few days. Hopefully she will let it go and won't get too emotional, even though it's very difficult. Why do people die? There's nothing good that comes out from deaths... Only unhappiness...
My dear grandfather, I sincerely hope that you can rest in peace. And my dear mother, please take care of yourself, and I will always be by your side.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Drunk
From wikipedia:
Drunkenness or inebriation is the state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcoholic beverages to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired. Severe drunkenness may lead to acute alcohol intoxication. Common symptoms may include slurred speech, impaired balance, poor coordination, flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition and uncharacteristic behavior. Drunkenness can result in temporary experience of a wide range of emotions, ranging from anger, sadness, and depression to euphoria, lightheartedness, joviality, and sexual disinhibition. Consuming excessive amounts of alcohol may lead to a hangover the next day.
Ever since I started drinking, I've never been drunk before. I'm serious. My face will turn red, I will have headache, I will get a little bit "high" and talk a bit more than I usually do, I may lose my balance, but getting drunk? NEVER! Everything will still be crystal clear in my mind and I will be totally aware of myself and my surroundings. I know what I am doing, and I don't forget everything the next day. However, sometimes I really want to know what the feeling of being drunk is like.
Went to a Japanese Karaoke with Yurika and her friends yesterday. As usual, I drank quite a lot. This beer called Hoegaarden was quite nice, and I actually prefer it to Tiger Beer and Carlsberg. Maybe I will drink it again next time. Anyway, because there were quite a lot of people and we had only about two hours, I didn't really get to sing a lot. But at least I managed to sing some new songs and songs that I've always wanted to sing, so I was quite happy. But the problem with my voice is still there... I still can't sing some parts very well and my voice is always too soft. Because of this I can't sing rock songs... Maybe I should go for some voice training? LOL
There was this Japanese lady who got really drunk after drinking a few bottles. It became more and more serious as time passed by, and even after the Karaoke she was still behaving like... well, "a person who is drunk". This is actually my first time seeing a drunkard in person, and I was quite surprised at how serious can it be. Now I know how all sorts of "accidents" happen from drinking, haha.
After the Karaoke Yurika brought me to one of the bars (or was it a club?) in Clarke Quay. As it got towards midnight more and more people were coming to to the bar and started dancing together. The music was so loud and we needed to speak to each other's ears in order to hear each other. No matter whether they were drunk or not, everyone was dancing to the music happily, enjoying themselves. They were seemed to be in a different world, and were seemed to be having a lot of fun. Maybe these are the people who really know how to enjoy life.
I tried to dance, but I couldn't. I think the problem with me is that I just can't let go of myself. No matter what I do, what my friends do, in my mind there will still be a lot of considerations and because of this I will not "let everything out". I am an emotional person, but I don't succumb to my emtions. I don't know since when did I start not to show my emotions, and as time passed by I was losing some emotions and feeling as well. Maybe this is how aparthy came into me.
Sometimes, I want to get drunk and forget everything. I want to let go of all my emotions.
But at the same time, I'm also scared of being drunk. I am scared of losing control of myself.
If alcohol is something that makes you achieve a sense of pleasure and is addictive, isn't it like drugs? And isn't taking drugs illegal?
Some pics from the Karaoke:
My little tortoise's sister? LOL
Guess whose finger this is...
Yurika and her friends.
Drunkenness or inebriation is the state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcoholic beverages to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired. Severe drunkenness may lead to acute alcohol intoxication. Common symptoms may include slurred speech, impaired balance, poor coordination, flushed face, reddened eyes, reduced inhibition and uncharacteristic behavior. Drunkenness can result in temporary experience of a wide range of emotions, ranging from anger, sadness, and depression to euphoria, lightheartedness, joviality, and sexual disinhibition. Consuming excessive amounts of alcohol may lead to a hangover the next day.
Ever since I started drinking, I've never been drunk before. I'm serious. My face will turn red, I will have headache, I will get a little bit "high" and talk a bit more than I usually do, I may lose my balance, but getting drunk? NEVER! Everything will still be crystal clear in my mind and I will be totally aware of myself and my surroundings. I know what I am doing, and I don't forget everything the next day. However, sometimes I really want to know what the feeling of being drunk is like.
Went to a Japanese Karaoke with Yurika and her friends yesterday. As usual, I drank quite a lot. This beer called Hoegaarden was quite nice, and I actually prefer it to Tiger Beer and Carlsberg. Maybe I will drink it again next time. Anyway, because there were quite a lot of people and we had only about two hours, I didn't really get to sing a lot. But at least I managed to sing some new songs and songs that I've always wanted to sing, so I was quite happy. But the problem with my voice is still there... I still can't sing some parts very well and my voice is always too soft. Because of this I can't sing rock songs... Maybe I should go for some voice training? LOL
There was this Japanese lady who got really drunk after drinking a few bottles. It became more and more serious as time passed by, and even after the Karaoke she was still behaving like... well, "a person who is drunk". This is actually my first time seeing a drunkard in person, and I was quite surprised at how serious can it be. Now I know how all sorts of "accidents" happen from drinking, haha.
After the Karaoke Yurika brought me to one of the bars (or was it a club?) in Clarke Quay. As it got towards midnight more and more people were coming to to the bar and started dancing together. The music was so loud and we needed to speak to each other's ears in order to hear each other. No matter whether they were drunk or not, everyone was dancing to the music happily, enjoying themselves. They were seemed to be in a different world, and were seemed to be having a lot of fun. Maybe these are the people who really know how to enjoy life.
I tried to dance, but I couldn't. I think the problem with me is that I just can't let go of myself. No matter what I do, what my friends do, in my mind there will still be a lot of considerations and because of this I will not "let everything out". I am an emotional person, but I don't succumb to my emtions. I don't know since when did I start not to show my emotions, and as time passed by I was losing some emotions and feeling as well. Maybe this is how aparthy came into me.
Sometimes, I want to get drunk and forget everything. I want to let go of all my emotions.
But at the same time, I'm also scared of being drunk. I am scared of losing control of myself.
If alcohol is something that makes you achieve a sense of pleasure and is addictive, isn't it like drugs? And isn't taking drugs illegal?
Some pics from the Karaoke:
My little tortoise's sister? LOLGuess whose finger this is...As usual, I look drunk, but I'm not...
Yurika and her friends.I've also visited Bishan SWA to watch the selection tournament for the Three Country Games today. I wanted to join this but... (please read my previous posts...) Posting some pics here:
Male Category
Female Category
Alvin playing... OMG
What did yurika just do? LOL
Jerry playing...
Male CategoryFemale CategoryAlvin playing... OMGWhat did yurika just do? LOLJerry playing...P.S. About my two previous posts, I was too lazy to translate them so those people who didn't understand sorry... I am still very unsure about how this blog is supposed to be like. Shall I write in English or Chinese? Or both? Will find an answer sometime.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
MUSIC STATION
10月3日と10月17日に放送されたMUSIC STATION（エムステ）を見た。まあ、内容はいつもどうりおもしろかったし、オラの好きなアーティストたちのパフォーマンスもすごかった。
ところが、一番きにいったのはなんと、アナウンサー堂真理子の後を継いでエムステのサブ司会になった竹内由恵アナウンサー！彼女は今年入社したばかりみたいで、10月3日の3時間スペシャルからエムステにいつもタモリサンの隣にいるサブ司会になることになった。
いや～、なんていうか彼女のエムステでの姿はとても可愛らしい＾＾。特に生放送だから、“台詞”に噛んだり、言うこと間違えてあせったり緊張したりするところがとてもおもしろい！^_^タモリサンも番組の中で彼女の声がとても若いとからかってた＝Ｄ。やっぱこういう番組も若くて可愛い司会がいたほうがいいよね～もしかしたら今後視聴率があがるかも？
調べてみると、彼女はエムステが始まった年に生まれて、2006のミス慶応っていうのに参加してたらしい。オラ、ファンになっちゃうかも＝）。今後の活躍も期待してま～す。
オラももっとエムステを注目しなきゃ
できれば毎週見よ～っと。
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Rain
It rained in the afternoon today. Maybe, it is raining in my heart as well.
I really don't understand why I am so unlucky this year. So many unpleasant things have been happening to me, one by one. Is my 19th year supposed to pass like that?
Some miscellaneous stuff: On one of the days when booking out, I actually forgot to put my wallet in my bag and left it lying on my bed. By the time I realised I was already on the bus home. In the end I had to borrow money from my friend to take taxi, and ten plus dollars was wasted just like that...
That's not the end, actually. After I alighted from the taxi I walked towards the staircase as I held my iTouch in my hand. Somehow I flipped the pouch upside down and the iTouch just slipped down onto the floor. I quickly held onto the earphone cord, but it was useless. The cord was simply too long...:-( The concrete ground mercilessly hit my poor naked iTouch (I removed the plastic skin a few days ago...), giving its cheek a few scratches... Now I feel as though a permanent scratch mark is left in my heart as well... I've put on the blue skin again, but whenever I think of my iTouch I will think of those glaring scratches and I will feel very sad... ToT
Then there's also the issue in the army, regarding my platoon mates and within myself. I don't know why but it seems hard for me to communicate with people, sometimes :-|
My piano teacher also doesn't seem to be responding to my messages...
I sort of forgot that there's one more competition this year: the three country weiqi competition. It involves Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand, and this year it's held in Kuala Lumpur. The selection tournament is on this coming Saturday and Sunday. I think this is too much to be a coincidence - both the selection tournament and the actual competition are on my book-out days! But, it is just a trick heaven is playing on me. I can't go for the actual competition because it's considered overseas, and I need to use my leaves if I want to go overseas... >_< I'm only left with 2 days of leave this year, and I need to reserve them for whampoa cup... ;_;
Maybe this is what I'm destined to go through. Get hopes and then lose them.
I have been thinking a lot recently, about my future, my character, my friends, my life... Where should I be, and where should I go? What should I do, and who should I care about? How should I lead my life?
How can I become a useful person?
However, my vision seems to be severly blurred by the rain, as I can't see the answer clearly...
I really don't understand why I am so unlucky this year. So many unpleasant things have been happening to me, one by one. Is my 19th year supposed to pass like that?
Some miscellaneous stuff: On one of the days when booking out, I actually forgot to put my wallet in my bag and left it lying on my bed. By the time I realised I was already on the bus home. In the end I had to borrow money from my friend to take taxi, and ten plus dollars was wasted just like that...
That's not the end, actually. After I alighted from the taxi I walked towards the staircase as I held my iTouch in my hand. Somehow I flipped the pouch upside down and the iTouch just slipped down onto the floor. I quickly held onto the earphone cord, but it was useless. The cord was simply too long...:-( The concrete ground mercilessly hit my poor naked iTouch (I removed the plastic skin a few days ago...), giving its cheek a few scratches... Now I feel as though a permanent scratch mark is left in my heart as well... I've put on the blue skin again, but whenever I think of my iTouch I will think of those glaring scratches and I will feel very sad... ToT
Then there's also the issue in the army, regarding my platoon mates and within myself. I don't know why but it seems hard for me to communicate with people, sometimes :-|
My piano teacher also doesn't seem to be responding to my messages...
I sort of forgot that there's one more competition this year: the three country weiqi competition. It involves Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand, and this year it's held in Kuala Lumpur. The selection tournament is on this coming Saturday and Sunday. I think this is too much to be a coincidence - both the selection tournament and the actual competition are on my book-out days! But, it is just a trick heaven is playing on me. I can't go for the actual competition because it's considered overseas, and I need to use my leaves if I want to go overseas... >_< I'm only left with 2 days of leave this year, and I need to reserve them for whampoa cup... ;_;
Maybe this is what I'm destined to go through. Get hopes and then lose them.
I have been thinking a lot recently, about my future, my character, my friends, my life... Where should I be, and where should I go? What should I do, and who should I care about? How should I lead my life?
How can I become a useful person?
However, my vision seems to be severly blurred by the rain, as I can't see the answer clearly...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Resolution
After many days of "rotting" at home, I have come to a conclusion that I have been to slack and at this rate my weiqi skills will be going nowhere, if not downwards. From now onwards, my resolution is to use the com for at most one to two hours a day for entertainment and devote the rest of the time to doing useful stuff, and weiqi will be the priority followed by piano. I know that this is a bit difficult now given the amount of commitments I have on the com and my ability to give myself excuses, but I can try to restrain myself from certain things that are not necessary or not so important. I used to spend too much time on meaningless stuff because I get easily distracted and was also personally lazy to get myself out of the chair. As a result a lot of time was wasted. In the end it still boils down to personal discipline and prioritisation.
Only about one month left before the Whampoa Cup... Whether I can go to Japan next year or not will depend on this... Will my Japan dream come true?
Only about one month left before the Whampoa Cup... Whether I can go to Japan next year or not will depend on this... Will my Japan dream come true?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Random Post
I guess this is going to be my first random post on my new blog.
Yesterday was was my PRC gathering at my house. However, the number has decreased a lot... Many have already moved to other countries. But I think it is good to meet my JC friends once in a while, 'cos in the future it will be even more difficult to arrange such gatherings...
Went to the SWA today to watch the finals of the Singapore Weiqi Tourney. Previously I could have participated in this competition as well, but since I couldn't come on some of the days of the competition I choose to back out(or was I forced to back out? Haha...). So in the end I could only participate in the lucky draw. The final was between Zhou Xiang and Xie Tang, and I initially went there to watch the games between them, but ended up playing against a strong japanese uncle instead. They also didn't review their game so I didn't get to watch anything...
Anyway, about the japanese uncle, by strong I really mean STRONG. He says his fuseki is 8 dan but yose is 4 dan, and I think the first part is really true. I don't know about the second part because I didn't play until yose, haha. He almost won jc, if not for a mistake in the end. I made a stupid move quite early in the game, and I even thought it was a good move. I only realised that the move was useless after the game... Haiz, this has happened to me many times. Looks like my 棋感is still not up there yet, and I still got a lot to improve on my fuseki and chuban.
Feel sorry for Dan, who is not able to participate in the Pair Go Category in World Mind Sports because Kay couldn't go. I think he's flying to Beijing today, in a very gloomy mood. I can understand his feeling, 'cos I also felt terrible when I was told last minute that I cannnot go. But looking on the positive side, at least he gets to go Beijing to watch and meet other people, while I can't even go at all. But still, it's like disaster to him, 'cos he has put in so much effort in training and yet his partner cannot participate. I don't know the situation exactly but I think Kay should do some self-reflection on this...
Cleaned up my room a bit today. Found out that my vacuum cleaner was spoilt... Haiz, why aren't there any good, functioning electrical appliance in my house? My broom also very 'cui', and dustpen literally full of dust... I must go and do something about this next time... Oh yeah, I only cleaned up my room, and still haven't tidy it up...
And that's the end of my first random post.
Yesterday was was my PRC gathering at my house. However, the number has decreased a lot... Many have already moved to other countries. But I think it is good to meet my JC friends once in a while, 'cos in the future it will be even more difficult to arrange such gatherings...
Went to the SWA today to watch the finals of the Singapore Weiqi Tourney. Previously I could have participated in this competition as well, but since I couldn't come on some of the days of the competition I choose to back out(or was I forced to back out? Haha...). So in the end I could only participate in the lucky draw. The final was between Zhou Xiang and Xie Tang, and I initially went there to watch the games between them, but ended up playing against a strong japanese uncle instead. They also didn't review their game so I didn't get to watch anything...
Anyway, about the japanese uncle, by strong I really mean STRONG. He says his fuseki is 8 dan but yose is 4 dan, and I think the first part is really true. I don't know about the second part because I didn't play until yose, haha. He almost won jc, if not for a mistake in the end. I made a stupid move quite early in the game, and I even thought it was a good move. I only realised that the move was useless after the game... Haiz, this has happened to me many times. Looks like my 棋感is still not up there yet, and I still got a lot to improve on my fuseki and chuban.
Feel sorry for Dan, who is not able to participate in the Pair Go Category in World Mind Sports because Kay couldn't go. I think he's flying to Beijing today, in a very gloomy mood. I can understand his feeling, 'cos I also felt terrible when I was told last minute that I cannnot go. But looking on the positive side, at least he gets to go Beijing to watch and meet other people, while I can't even go at all. But still, it's like disaster to him, 'cos he has put in so much effort in training and yet his partner cannot participate. I don't know the situation exactly but I think Kay should do some self-reflection on this...
Cleaned up my room a bit today. Found out that my vacuum cleaner was spoilt... Haiz, why aren't there any good, functioning electrical appliance in my house? My broom also very 'cui', and dustpen literally full of dust... I must go and do something about this next time... Oh yeah, I only cleaned up my room, and still haven't tidy it up...
And that's the end of my first random post.
Monday, October 6, 2008
遗憾围棋
从兵营回来之后，看到网上很多关于智运会的报导，看到很多棋手的照片，我的心不禁感到一阵酸痛。此比赛像奥运会一样，有开幕表演，有国手们依序入场，有会 旗升起，有选手们宣誓...这个比赛的规模可以说是前所未有，也是首次世界性的棋类比赛收到这么大的关注。但偏偏，我没有办法参加如此重大的盛会...除 了“遗憾”两个字，我还能说什么呢？
以后还能不能参加这个比赛我不知道，甚至还有没有下一届都不确定。错过了这次绝好的机会，可能很难会 有下一次了。围棋这个项目里有分好几个小项目，而我本来参加的是男子个人赛。这个项目有中日韩，还有台湾的职业棋手参加，基本上是他们争夺奖牌，所以我想要 取得好成绩几乎不可能。可是我没有想到的是此项目竟然有那么多业余棋手参加，而且比专业棋手还多！这样的话我至少可以赢一两盘吧。而且最重要是有机会免费 跟专业棋手下棋，这么好的学习机会往哪儿找？真羡慕那些业余的参赛选手，可以和那么多人聚在一起下棋，又跟有名人物交谈，合影。
不过我也不能总为了这事苦闷着，11月份有一个全国比赛，如果我拿到前五名的话明年有机会去日本参加世界业余围棋赛。这个比赛我一直以来都很想去，但一直都没有赢得参赛权。如果这次不争取，以后肯定会后悔的。一定要努力！
最 近开始觉得其实我没有业余6段水平。我的棋跟那些真正的业6比还差很多。第一是我的计算力不行。很多时候我都是靠感觉行棋，等到我发现因没有计算而走错棋 的时候已经太迟了。第二是我的判断能力不强。每次我下棋都是该下哪里就下哪里，到最后自己形势好不好也不知道。第三，也是最要紧的，就是我下棋的时候缺乏 胜负感。经常像摆石头似的下着下着，发现自己已经要输的时候也没有尽全力去挽回。我认为，这对于一个棋手来说，是最要命的。那些在北京冲段的少儿棋手们， 可能刚开局的时候还不是那么专心，不过一到了胜负关头，他们都会聚精会神，想方设法打倒对手取得胜利。我就是缺乏这种精神，每次形势不好就觉得输了也无所 谓，而这在我的处世态度也能反映出来。以上是我总结出来的自己的缺点，也是我今后一定要努力加强的地方。
贴一些智运会的照片：
个人公开赛
开幕式上著名棋手古力为选手们宣誓
老外在下棋
棋手们会聚一堂
我国女选手Sun Shu-Wei （右上角的那个小女孩）
另外一位我国女选手傅川玲（也是右上角那位）
好可爱的小男孩
右边是著名美女棋手，梅泽由香里。她也是漫画“棋灵王”的监修。
世界冠军，古力。
古力对我国的康战斌老师。
以后还能不能参加这个比赛我不知道，甚至还有没有下一届都不确定。错过了这次绝好的机会，可能很难会 有下一次了。围棋这个项目里有分好几个小项目，而我本来参加的是男子个人赛。这个项目有中日韩，还有台湾的职业棋手参加，基本上是他们争夺奖牌，所以我想要 取得好成绩几乎不可能。可是我没有想到的是此项目竟然有那么多业余棋手参加，而且比专业棋手还多！这样的话我至少可以赢一两盘吧。而且最重要是有机会免费 跟专业棋手下棋，这么好的学习机会往哪儿找？真羡慕那些业余的参赛选手，可以和那么多人聚在一起下棋，又跟有名人物交谈，合影。
不过我也不能总为了这事苦闷着，11月份有一个全国比赛，如果我拿到前五名的话明年有机会去日本参加世界业余围棋赛。这个比赛我一直以来都很想去，但一直都没有赢得参赛权。如果这次不争取，以后肯定会后悔的。一定要努力！
最 近开始觉得其实我没有业余6段水平。我的棋跟那些真正的业6比还差很多。第一是我的计算力不行。很多时候我都是靠感觉行棋，等到我发现因没有计算而走错棋 的时候已经太迟了。第二是我的判断能力不强。每次我下棋都是该下哪里就下哪里，到最后自己形势好不好也不知道。第三，也是最要紧的，就是我下棋的时候缺乏 胜负感。经常像摆石头似的下着下着，发现自己已经要输的时候也没有尽全力去挽回。我认为，这对于一个棋手来说，是最要命的。那些在北京冲段的少儿棋手们， 可能刚开局的时候还不是那么专心，不过一到了胜负关头，他们都会聚精会神，想方设法打倒对手取得胜利。我就是缺乏这种精神，每次形势不好就觉得输了也无所 谓，而这在我的处世态度也能反映出来。以上是我总结出来的自己的缺点，也是我今后一定要努力加强的地方。
贴一些智运会的照片：
个人公开赛开幕式上著名棋手古力为选手们宣誓老外在下棋棋手们会聚一堂我国女选手Sun Shu-Wei （右上角的那个小女孩）另外一位我国女选手傅川玲（也是右上角那位）好可爱的小男孩右边是著名美女棋手，梅泽由香里。她也是漫画“棋灵王”的监修。世界冠军，古力。古力对我国的康战斌老师。
Thursday, October 2, 2008
2008.10.02 Thursday
Firstly, let me congratulate Ayu for her 30th birthday! Time really waits for no WOman. Even our lovely Ayu has turned 30 already. But no fear, Ayu! I know you can still carry on singing and produce wonderful songs! 加油！Those who wants to support her, please go and buy her latest album: A COMPLETE ~ALL SINGLES~, which contains all her 43 singles in her 10 years in the J-POP history. The album also contains a DVD inside which you can find 25 live performances from various events and some of them have never been shown before! Definitely worth a buy!
OK, so today was supposed to be the day when I fly off to Beijing. But, now the rest of the team has went there without me. I didn't really expect my officer to talk to me today about this incident and explain to me the whole process. It seems that they applied 3 times, and SSC was still not convinced. Which means, even if I started applying earlier, I still would not be able to take leave... It's all bad luck... If the army had never forced us to take leave earlier in the year, I wouldn't be left with only 2 days of leaves for this year... Maybe they should revise the system... But haiz, no matter what I say the result is fixed already. It's just that it's very sad to miss such a opportunity that is so hard to come by...
祝其他的新加坡选手们能取得好成绩！也祝中国棋手们能勇夺各项赛事的冠军！各位职业棋手，我们下次再会吧。
祝其他的新加坡选手们能取得好成绩！也祝中国棋手们能勇夺各项赛事的冠军！各位职业棋手，我们下次再会吧。
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Despair, Disappointment, Helplessness
On Sunday when I booked in, I thought that I still had a few more days to fight for my right to take the leave to go Mind Sports Games in Beijing. However, SWA suddenly called to tell me that I needed to tell them the result by Monday. Things were getting from bad to worse, and I was losing more and more hope. I didn't expect the final verdict to come so early...
On the fateful day, when a fateful decision would have to be made, it came all very naturally, as if everything had been fated since the start. There were no miracles. Maybe I shouldn't have kept hope in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have tried at all. I don't know. All those anxiety and eagerness experienced during my wait for the Mind Sports had ended with a NO from my officer.
It's not his fault, I believe. As I have mentioned in my previous post, there aren't anyone I can blame for this. If there's one thing I didn't like it would be the giving of hopes my so many people. Ever since the first day I started talking about this matter, people have been saying I should be able to go. Even my officers had also said that shouldn't be a problem. I also thought so, until last Wednesday when I received news about the rejection. I had absolutely no idea that my fate was actually sealed in the hands of the almighty SSC.
Ironically, my officer told me that the SSC recognised this as a sports event, but they can't support my leave because this is not their area of focus. I'm not considered a carded athelete, and to them weiqi is nothing compared to those more important sports like swimming, table-tennis, gymnastics etc. And because of this one times NSF will not be able to attend the would-be one of the most prestigious events in the weiqi history.
I shouldn't have thought about playing instructional games with the Pros. I shouldn't have thought about meeting famous people, taking pictures with them and getting their signatures. I shouldn't have wanted to see what the new Beijing is like. I shouldn't have planned about what to do if I meet my friends there. Yes, I shouldn't have done all these, because I should have known the outcome in the first place.
I could do nothing to prevent the verdict from falling upon me. Maybe this is called helplessness. Maybe this is the result of serving national service. All I know is that I am going to pay hundreds of dollars for this disappointment. And a piece of paper which I will never be able to submit to the rightful counter. I would never be able to join the 4000 people taking part in this event out of which 708 are in the weiqi category, even though my name is in the namelist: http://weiqi.sports.tom.com/2008-09-30/00UV/43135522_08.html. Oh yeah, forgot to minus one, so it's 707 out of 3999 people.
After taking time to calm down, I still appeared as my normal self in the army. Maybe I have learnt to take things in its stride, or maybe I just don't take things seriously enough. It's quite weird though if you claim you are very hurt but you can still joke around with others. But then, what's the point of showing my sad face to other people?
After getting scolded by my mother, I'm starting to think that maybe the fault lies with me. I'm just too passive and always never voice out stuff resulting in this. Maybe if I talked to either the officer or SWA more the matter could have been resolved. Maybe if I persisted or showed that I was very passionate about this event the army could have given me compassionate leave. Maybe if they kept talking to SSC they would comply in the end. The last point was proven to be wrong, as SWA talked to SSC again today but they still refused to support me taking FPUL. Seriously, I don't understand why they keep rejecting when all they need to do is just say 'yes' and we are not like asking them to sponsor or anything.
Well, life still goes on. The Earth won't stop spinning just because of this. One thing I could say is that I will not give up weiqi. I can never do so. It is almost all that I have now, and I can't afford to give up because I know there are still many opportunities ahead. But next time, I must remember to use my own leaves instead of relying on the FPUL (I have new leaves coming in next year.)
Now, for the moment, please excuse me while I hide one corner and emo, and maybe shed a few tears... And I still have to carry on my duties after I finished crying...
P.S. Some more unhappy incidents happened in the camp today, and this time it involves me. I really don't understand... Is this year my unlucky year?
On the fateful day, when a fateful decision would have to be made, it came all very naturally, as if everything had been fated since the start. There were no miracles. Maybe I shouldn't have kept hope in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have tried at all. I don't know. All those anxiety and eagerness experienced during my wait for the Mind Sports had ended with a NO from my officer.
It's not his fault, I believe. As I have mentioned in my previous post, there aren't anyone I can blame for this. If there's one thing I didn't like it would be the giving of hopes my so many people. Ever since the first day I started talking about this matter, people have been saying I should be able to go. Even my officers had also said that shouldn't be a problem. I also thought so, until last Wednesday when I received news about the rejection. I had absolutely no idea that my fate was actually sealed in the hands of the almighty SSC.
Ironically, my officer told me that the SSC recognised this as a sports event, but they can't support my leave because this is not their area of focus. I'm not considered a carded athelete, and to them weiqi is nothing compared to those more important sports like swimming, table-tennis, gymnastics etc. And because of this one times NSF will not be able to attend the would-be one of the most prestigious events in the weiqi history.
I shouldn't have thought about playing instructional games with the Pros. I shouldn't have thought about meeting famous people, taking pictures with them and getting their signatures. I shouldn't have wanted to see what the new Beijing is like. I shouldn't have planned about what to do if I meet my friends there. Yes, I shouldn't have done all these, because I should have known the outcome in the first place.
I could do nothing to prevent the verdict from falling upon me. Maybe this is called helplessness. Maybe this is the result of serving national service. All I know is that I am going to pay hundreds of dollars for this disappointment. And a piece of paper which I will never be able to submit to the rightful counter. I would never be able to join the 4000 people taking part in this event out of which 708 are in the weiqi category, even though my name is in the namelist: http://weiqi.sports.tom.com/2008-09-30/00UV/43135522_08.html. Oh yeah, forgot to minus one, so it's 707 out of 3999 people.
After taking time to calm down, I still appeared as my normal self in the army. Maybe I have learnt to take things in its stride, or maybe I just don't take things seriously enough. It's quite weird though if you claim you are very hurt but you can still joke around with others. But then, what's the point of showing my sad face to other people?
After getting scolded by my mother, I'm starting to think that maybe the fault lies with me. I'm just too passive and always never voice out stuff resulting in this. Maybe if I talked to either the officer or SWA more the matter could have been resolved. Maybe if I persisted or showed that I was very passionate about this event the army could have given me compassionate leave. Maybe if they kept talking to SSC they would comply in the end. The last point was proven to be wrong, as SWA talked to SSC again today but they still refused to support me taking FPUL. Seriously, I don't understand why they keep rejecting when all they need to do is just say 'yes' and we are not like asking them to sponsor or anything.
Well, life still goes on. The Earth won't stop spinning just because of this. One thing I could say is that I will not give up weiqi. I can never do so. It is almost all that I have now, and I can't afford to give up because I know there are still many opportunities ahead. But next time, I must remember to use my own leaves instead of relying on the FPUL (I have new leaves coming in next year.)
Now, for the moment, please excuse me while I hide one corner and emo, and maybe shed a few tears... And I still have to carry on my duties after I finished crying...
P.S. Some more unhappy incidents happened in the camp today, and this time it involves me. I really don't understand... Is this year my unlucky year?
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