Wednesday, June 22, 2011

100%

I don't know why I haven't updated for so long.

I think it's becoming a bad habit of mine.

And there's so much spam!! ------>>

Anyway, I think I'd better update before I fly off again...



World Amateur 2011 is over.

The result was far worse than I expected.

When somebody interviewed me on the first day, I said I was aiming for at least 6 wins.

Bulls**t.

I didn't even know how difficult it was to get 6 wins.

And I just said that without any determination.

In the end? Only 4 wins.

And the worse thing is, all my opponents are those that I should've won.

I'm not saying I'm definitely stronger than them. I'm just talking about the games.

Almost all the games I lost I was leading at one point. But one stupid mistake and the lead is gone.

And I only realised that I was losing until near the end.

What am I becoming?

Someone who just plays for fun and doesn't care about win or lose?

Someone who just randomly places stones on the board?

Getting this result made me very upset.

However, being upset doesn't solve any problems.

I had to make a decision: Give Up? Or Continue?


After much hesitation, I decided that I would

Continue.

I would continue to put in my best effort to learn Go for another two years.

BEST EFFORT.

If within these two years, I still do not get any decent results in international tournament, then I will give up, and just be a Happy-Go-Player.

Somebody told me, that if I just aim to get into top 10, I will never get champion.

Maybe that's why I got such lousy results.

I didn't aim high enough. I wasn't preparing to give my best from the start.

I didn't put in enough effort to prepare.

I overestimated myself.

From now on, I will acknowledge the fact that I am weak.

And since I am weak, I must put in more effort to study.

Play every game seriously.

Never play a move without thinking.

Through this Beijing Trip, I will build up my 100% determination, and 100% concentration, to continue this tough path.

And of course, 100% courage.