Failure Once More

My feeling now? I feel like punching a sandbag as hard as I can. And maybe continue doing that for 5 minutes.

But too bad, I don't have a sandbag at home.

For one more time, I've lost. Lost the chance to represent Singapore in World Amateur Go Championship. Lost the chance to go Tokyo, Japan, where I've long been wanting to go.

I've been preparing for this since last year, and I even used up my last two leaves just to take part in the Whompoa Cup, so that I can get into the selections. I've been doing Tsumego and reading Weiqi book everyday in camp.

But, the fact is, I still lost.

Maybe I still lack something. Something I don't know. Is it called "fighting spirit"? Is it called "will to win"?

Have I not been training enough? (This is quite obvious...)

Right now, I can only say that I'm such a big failure.

It was a good game. Even though my pieces got eaten, I've also made quite a big moyo and my opponent didn't attempt to invade. Hence I was leading by quite a lot by endgame. However I spent too much time in the beginning when my that piece was gonna die, hence I didn't have a lot of time left to think. This lead me to play every move in a hurry, leading to a major mistake and I resigned.

If not for that move I made in the last minute, I would have won.

I don't know about the second game, but at least I would have won that game.

And I would be feeling much better.

But I lost.

I couldn't keep my promise I made in my last post.

Failure.

I guess for the time being, I'll distance myself from weiqi. I'll find other ways to entertain myself. There are other methods to enjoy life.

Congrats to whoever got selected.


PS Who knows maybe this incident will affect my decision to go to which university, and affect my future.

Pending Results

Finished 2 days of selection tournament. The result: me, JC and Yuxiang all lost one game each, to one another, hence we have to go through another round of play-off. It's not the best result, but at least there is still hope for me. Yes, there is still some.

I'm not really happy with the games played on this two days. When I lost to JC on the first day I thought everything would be over, but then Yuxiang won JC in the second round. That's when I thought that there is still chance for me. And in the end, I really won YX, leading to a tie-break. However the game with YX was quite frightening. I was leading all the way until almost end-game, when I made a mistake and a lot of my seeds got killed. If YX didn't run out of time I would have lost, albeit by a little. It was so scary! I swear I'll never play a move without thinking again.

The 2 days of selection showed me that my hopes are not zero. I can still win if I play properly and grab the chance. The last showdown is on this coming Wednesday, when we will play two games. We will draw lots first and two players will play against each other, then the winner will play against the other guy. Once again I won't have time to prepare because I'm staying in all the way until Wednesday (I'm even going straight to Bishan from camp!!). Let's hope I can rest well on these few days, and am able to give my best on Wednesday.

Sudden News

This Monday, just before I was going to book in to camp at night, SWA gave me a call. They told me that I was selected for World Amateur Cup selection tournament, held this weekend (so fast???). Okay, this was just as what I expected, maybe a bit too last minute. But then they told me that there were 8 people going for the tournament, and the 8 includes those that didn't even go for the Whompoa Cup last year.

According to the usual rules, only those Singapore citizens who got first 4 in the Whompoa Cup held every year can go for the selection tournament next year. I asked James about it, and he said that SWA has changed the rules after some meetings. Why then, may I ask, that we were never informed? There wasn't any info about the selection tournament last year, neither did the registration form of Whompoa Cup state anything. How come they made the decisions without telling us anything? Isn't this a very important new rule?

Okay, about the rule itself. So every year SWA is going to choose 4 more other than those who won in Whompoa Cup to participate in this tournament, depending on their past performances in international competitions. But then what about new guys who want to join the competition? If it's always the same guys who go for the selection tournament then new guys will never make it for international competitions (World Amateur, I mean). They should also be given a chance to join the selection tournament also. Hence by choosing more winners from a certain tournament it will be much more fair than having SWA choose the participants among themselves.

Haiz... Today the competition will start, and I will have to play against the other 7 players in two days. I didn't expect this selection to be such a tough one, and there are so many strong players involved. I also didn't prepare well, plus the fact that immediately after I received the notice I had to stay in in camp until Friday. I'm losing more and more confidence and being more and more nervous. Maybe I will lose this chance again. I haven't played serious Weiqi for a very long time now...

Luckily this weekend is our book-out weekend. So I will still go for the selection tournament and see what I can do. If I get chosen, it will be the best. If I didn't.. Hmm... Maybe I'll just hide one corner and cry.

Final Fantasy IV - Prelude (Piano Collections)

This is not the end. It's just the beginning.
This is not the finale. It's only a Prelude.

Prelude

From Final Fantasy IV Piano Collections

First piano video of the year! This piece is harder than it seems! I tried filming this one countless times, and still couldn't play it perfectly. It's so easy to make mistakes... In the end I chose one that's more decent. If I have the chance I will make a new one in the future after my skills improve.

I like the general Prelude music in all Final Fantasy Games. I have to say this one is one of the best adaptations.

To my surprise there were people who actually subscribed to my videos on youtube! I never thought that there would be people who'd do that...

First Random Post in 2009

Today is the 11th of January 2009. On the 11th January 2008, I was enlisted into SAF.

Meaning?

I am a ONE YEAR SOLDIER now!!!!!! WOW!!!!! OMG!!!!!CLAP CLAP!!!!!!

10 more months to go!!!! OMG!!!!!!



Okay, now about the sad stuff.

At the end of last year, few of our guys got caught by an officer playing PSP while on duty. Hence, our OC has passed down a rule: no more PSP in camp. Yes, for our unit, no one will be allowed to bring PSP into the camp anymore...

This is so saddening... I bought the PSP last year just for the purpose of playing in camp, and now they don't allow it anymore. Well actually it's not a permanent ban. It just lasts for 6 months. But 6 months is quite "permanent" to me... Now I won't get to enjoy playing new and old games that I like in camp for months... Luckily I still have my iPod Touch. Hoo~

On the bright side, I don't need to search for games to download anymore. This will save up some time for me. (To put more videos into my iPod Touch... LOL)



This new year is definitely the worst new year for me. And I'm referring to both the Chinese one and the universal one. On 31st December 2008, 11.59 PM, I was sitting right in front of the X-ray machine (that's where we do our duty), doing my countdown. The machine was the first "thing" I wished Happy New Year to... For the Chinese New Year, I can't come home on the eve, and from 初一 to 初七 I only have 4 days outside camp. To be exact, it's 2 and a half days, because I only can reach home in the afternoon... Sad, isn't it? I've never celebrated new year in this way before... I can't even have my reunion dinner on the eve... ToT

Luckily this is the only new year I spend in camp. If there's another one I'll definitely complain until crazy, and if they don't let us off I shall AWOL as a platoon.