Somebody

Please kill me...

Not Ready...

I'm flying off to Thailand tomorrow for Thai U-Go. However, I must say that in all aspects I'm not ready for it at all... Haven't been playing many serious games recently, I have already lost some touch... Sometimes I look at the board, I don't even know what to think about... And the most important thing is I totally screwed up the IV League today...

The first game... I must admit I underestimated my opponent. One move that he played so fast, I didn't even doubt for a second what he was thinking, and in the end my stones got eaten through ladder... In the later part I still had chance but I had already lost my fighting spirit... I wasn't able to recover from the shock even after the game... Until now I still can't believe it happened...

I feel even worse because it's a team competition and not an individual one... I didn't take the game seriously enough. In the end our team lost by 2-3 in the first round. Technically we still had chance, but I felt that our morale was down already...

In the end we lost another round and got Team 2nd... We were all aiming for first...

This must not happen again. NEVER.

I swear, as long as I'm playing for NTU, I will not lose any more games. NEVER.

We will do well for the next competition!

On another note, today one friend told me that I need to be more expressive... Yes, actually I know that, just that I don't know how to achieve that. He said that people who have the technical skills but are poor at expressing and presenting themselves don't stand a chance of getting a job. And leadership skills are important too. That's where CCAs come in... So far my only leadership positions are in Weiqi, MAC and Astro, but all of them were not done very well... I do hope I can expand my portfolio further by joining other CCAs in Uni... I guess I will think about that problem in Sem 2.

I have to say I suck at expressing myself. Everytime I would run out of words. Is it because my language skills suck, or what? Can a person like me be able to talk more freely and socialise more? If anyone could give me some advice it would be great...

All in all, I'm not ready for so many things... Life is tiring...

And once again... I've been told that I've grown skinny...

Dying to Live

It's amazing how everyone of us live to die in the end, but most of us are dying to live as well...

Anyway, haven't updated this blog for so long, thought I'd better write some stuff about my uni...

Now I'm halfway into recess week, but I seriously don't feel like I'm having recess at all.

If only it could be recess weekS instead of recess week.

My Thai U-Go trip starts this coming Sunday, and hence I'll be missing one whole week of lesson after my recess week... And that includes one CA and one lab report.

Yeah many people say I only take 16 AUs so should be quite slack, but somehow I have a hard time managing my studies...

Well I can say I brought it upon myself because I've skipped some lectures, but the rhythm just has not been right since uni started...

And now I'm already half-way into the semester... So many things unsettled...

I think after I come back from Thai U-Go, I shall spend most of my time on my studies, and catch up on all those that I'm lagging behind... I shouldn't be worrying or troubling myself with anything else... Yes...