Rain

It rained in the afternoon today. Maybe, it is raining in my heart as well.

I really don't understand why I am so unlucky this year. So many unpleasant things have been happening to me, one by one. Is my 19th year supposed to pass like that?

Some miscellaneous stuff: On one of the days when booking out, I actually forgot to put my wallet in my bag and left it lying on my bed. By the time I realised I was already on the bus home. In the end I had to borrow money from my friend to take taxi, and ten plus dollars was wasted just like that...

That's not the end, actually. After I alighted from the taxi I walked towards the staircase as I held my iTouch in my hand. Somehow I flipped the pouch upside down and the iTouch just slipped down onto the floor. I quickly held onto the earphone cord, but it was useless. The cord was simply too long...:-( The concrete ground mercilessly hit my poor naked iTouch (I removed the plastic skin a few days ago...), giving its cheek a few scratches... Now I feel as though a permanent scratch mark is left in my heart as well... I've put on the blue skin again, but whenever I think of my iTouch I will think of those glaring scratches and I will feel very sad... ToT

Then there's also the issue in the army, regarding my platoon mates and within myself. I don't know why but it seems hard for me to communicate with people, sometimes :-|

My piano teacher also doesn't seem to be responding to my messages...

I sort of forgot that there's one more competition this year: the three country weiqi competition. It involves Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand, and this year it's held in Kuala Lumpur. The selection tournament is on this coming Saturday and Sunday. I think this is too much to be a coincidence - both the selection tournament and the actual competition are on my book-out days! But, it is just a trick heaven is playing on me. I can't go for the actual competition because it's considered overseas, and I need to use my leaves if I want to go overseas... >_< I'm only left with 2 days of leave this year, and I need to reserve them for whampoa cup... ;_;

Maybe this is what I'm destined to go through. Get hopes and then lose them.

I have been thinking a lot recently, about my future, my character, my friends, my life... Where should I be, and where should I go? What should I do, and who should I care about? How should I lead my life?

How can I become a useful person?

However, my vision seems to be severly blurred by the rain, as I can't see the answer clearly...