Birthday Blues

I realised I have been complaining a lot of my blog recently.

I want to make some positive posts.

But I just can't make myself to do it.

Maybe I've just getting more and more negative these days.

Or these months. Or even years. I don't know

I predict that this will be another complaining post again.

So, I just passed my 23rd Birthday.

23rd!!

Thinking of the number really makes me feel scared.

Am I that old now? 23 years' old!!??

I can't remember how I spent my 20th Birthday.

But 3 years have passed since then.

What have I done?

What have I achieved?

I have been thinking a lot about life recently.

About my life, and about my future.

About why I still do not have a girlfriend. (LOL)

I kind of regret the choice of going to NTU to study Aerospace Engineering.

It's not that this is not good. It's not that I don't like this.

It's just that, it probably wasn't a good choice for me.

I think in order to really grow up and become a better person, one needs to experience many things.

And that's what I have not been doing. Experiencing things.

Everyday go to school, listen to lectures, tutorials, and after that go study in the library.

That's not really the kind of life I want.

That's not my ideal university life.

But that's how it is now.

Now I have very little motivation to study.

Because I don't know what I can get from this.

I don't know what this path will bring me to in the future.

I admire Chou Yang. He could give up his NUS place and go back to Taiwan to pursue what he wants.

Should I do that too?

If now I were to go back to 5 years ago to make a choice, I wouldn't choose NTU Aerospace Engineering.

I would choose somewhere overseas.

Only then can I learn how to be independent.

And how to be more mature.

Year 2 into NTU now.

Not sure if my option is still open now.

I hope someone can tell me the answer.

Though I know in the end, I still have to be the one to make the decision.

Time

I realised one problem.

I always seem to think that I have some more time.

That I have enough time to do what I want.

Hence I would often leave things to do later.

Instead of doing them now.

This competition in Japan was also the same.

In the end I couldn't even say a proper good-bye.

Time is actually never enough.

Especially happy times.

They pass like nobody's business.

Therefore, from now on I wish I can cherish every single moment.

Maybe not every second, but I hope I don't let every minute come to waste.

Or every 10 minute, based on the amount of time I've wasted so far.

Please don't let me waste any more time.

I don't want to waste any more time.

On the other hand, it could very well be that what I'm doing now is a total waste of time.

But I don't really want to think about that now.

At least, not until after I pull over this semester.

P.S. This Japan trip was really fun. I've jotted down the events, so I'll update in the future if I have the time.